The Best of 2010: From the Audience

December 31, 2010

There are two types of people who write about tennis. There are those professional journalistic types that we love to read and bash as being completely unworthy of their professional while simultaneously salivating over their ability to be at every tournament, and those of us wannabe bloggers who spend hours bent over livestreams and wordpress themes certain that the universe actually cares what we have to say.

Unfortunately, the sad reality of being a wannabe blogger is we don’t get the chance to explore live tennis all too often, particularly those of us residing in tournament-dry regions (I’m looking in the mirror here).

This means that while the end of year summaries are crowded with professional journalistics giving us their opinions on the best matches of the year that they attended, and the gorgeous blogging crowd telling us the same, no one is going to give you the inside scoop on which matches were the best from a live crowd point of view.

Of course, I’m all about niches, so here goes my bit. I grew up in a city where green, then blue courts were the only way or the highway, but this year I was lucky enough to have Fabulous Tour of the Universe TM coincide with the tennis season (coincidentally, of course…) With a near Grand Slam complete in the 2010 season, I’m here to give you what were, in my humble opinion, the greatest live matches of the 2010 season.

The “Oh Man I’m Gonna Miss My Train” Award: Gasquet v Youzhny, Australian Open, Round 1

It was late, the clock struck twelve. 12.16 is the last train from Richmond station. Not a problem when Misha was killing it and turned the match around. We hung there til the bitter end, and didn’t regret a second.

The “No One is Watching, but it’s a Grand Slam” Mention: Brianti v Lepchenko, Australian Open, Round 1

L and I, hanging at Court Fourteen, with no-one in sight but a chair umpire and court services kids. The security guard wasn’t sure who was playing. The chair umpire knew it was the “Italian girl”. We split up and took pink and green respectively, changing ends with the girls. It was a grand slam match.

The “Seriously, Why Can’t We Sit in Front? It’s 3am” Complaint: Cilic v Tomic, Round 2, Australian Open

The lovely security folk at Rod Laver Arena had the devoted Freakinators move back to their nosebleed seats. At two am. In an empty arena. I nearly fell asleep during change of ends. And yeah, Bernard had something to complain about. Apparently, it was past his bedtime too.

The “Hellas Own the Universe” Award: Baghdatis v Ferrer, Australian Open

I swapped tickets with a stranger, Marcos whipped the match around from a cramping Daveed by drawing on the masses of energy generated by the craziest fan group in history, the blue-and-white clad Hellas Fan Club, made up of Melbourne’s significant Greek community. The songs were resonating in my head for weeks afterward, and I’m still inclined to sing a bit of Greek Cypriot ditties. Yikasen a parking lot.

The RafaKads v Ballboys, Revenge Match: Roland Garros Final, Nadal v Soderling

Rafa made us feel better about the pantsing he’d had a year earlier, when we had clutched each other in solidarity and cried, vowing tennis would never be the same again. I snagged a seat with two frat boys in front of the big screen at Court 2, in the hallowed red clay land itself. Of course, the gaggle of ballboys in the back wouldn’t let me enjoy it, instead booing Rafa and cheering Robin the whole way through.

“Can I go to the bathroom yet?” Award– Henin v Dementieva, Round 2, Australian Open

The early-round semifinal, I found myself anxiously checking Juan Martin Del Potro show the first signs of the struggle in an epic against James Blake on a random iPhone behind me, while Justine and Elena battled it out in a match where we waited 27 minutes for the first change of ends. Highlight of the evening was definitely the guy shouting out from the front section during a break: GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO ROD LAVER ARENA. NOW, WHO HERE IS GOING FOR ELENA DEMENTIEVA? (wait for cheers) WHO IS GOING FOR JUSTINE HENIN? (more clapping). Proud to be an Aussean.

“Hiisense has a weird vibe, but I think I’m witnessing epicness”: Tsonga v Almagro tied with Delpo v Cilic, Australian Open

I never buy Hiisense tickets if I can help it. Unless something big is going down. Turns out I lucked out by dropping by for the last two sets of Tsonga Almagro, which became such an epic tale it was said just like that, in one breath. Delpo Cilic was an even briefer visit, but to this day I am grateful for the chance to be present at one of the last times this rare creature was witnessed by the known world. He wears muscle tanks, he is a lanky llama, he owns the universe, his name is Juan Martin. Delpotro, ladies and gents. Before sadness ensued.

“I can feel the bile rising from here” Award: Federer v Davydenko, Quarterfinal, Australian Open

Biggest choke in history, witnessed by yours truly from the baseline. I could’ve sworn I caught Kolya’s eyes a couple of times and inspired him through those, um, twelve lost games in a row. Sadness, pure sadness. And Fed’s serve coming at you is kinda scary.

The “Eye Candy in the Hot Hot Sun” award: Lopez v Paire, Round 2, US Open

I had to head home at 3pm. I left at 4.3o. Benoit was hilarious, Feli was delectable. It was hot, I didn’t care. Nuff said.

The USTA Saves Us With a Party Award: Nadal v Djokovic, US Open Final

We came back for a second day, and nearly suffocated in the crush of the most disorganized rain delay in history. Rivers of rain rushing through the concrete concourse at Arthur Ashe, people forced from the stadium to a foyer which sealed exists, I was ready for a Love-Parade type scenario. The rain abated, we came back on court and suddenly, the dryers were out, the music was pumping and the town was dancing. Only the USTA could have me forgive them so quick. “Baby I like it!”

“Bloggers take over the stadium”, Stosur v Dementieva, Round 3, US Open

Sammy needed our help, and thanks to the lovely C-note of Forty Deuce for providing moral support, we were able to give her just that. Learning songs (including one to the tune of Happy Little Vegemites) with the Stosur Fan Club beforehand at the Heineken Lounge made us lubricated enough to jump down into our ‘lucky seats’ and watch Sammy and Lena give us the match of the tournament, maybe even the ladies match of the year. And yes, we wore purple. I still think my voice hasn’t recovered.

“Sex-all, tie break” – Ferrer v Verdasco, Round 4, US Open

Hanging with two Spanish fellow USTA volunteers for this match was only the start. Heavenly hitting, gorgeous grunting, and it was only inevitable I texted C, who I was meeting for the Sam-Kim match that stole my buzz, “sex all. I mean, six all.” Insane tiebreaks, arrived back from Kim crushing my heart to watch the Match Point of the year. Impossible to breathe.

“The Little Aussie Battler” – Sally Peers v Alexandra Wozniak, US Open, Round 1

Heating up in the sunshine, trying to get our mugs on Foxtel and wave to Mum, Australian flags peeping through our hats. Though my awesome meeting with the lovely Craig Tiley was at the next Aussie match, Rodionova vs Bojana, this took the cake as Aussie match of the day with an awesome surprise from the fabulous Sally. Happy start to a happy day.

The “If Only Love Could Save Us All” Heartbreaker Award, Dokic vs Kleybanova, Australian Open, Round 1

An entire stadium supporting you, shouting your name. Oozing love and support because you have a crazy dad, and we want you to win. And you go ahead and choke away a match. Not fun for anyone present, least of all the sad girl in the orange dress. Jelena, we still love you.

The “I Always Miss the Best Shots When I Go Out For A Second” Sitch: Murray vs Cilic, Semifinal, Australian Open

My lovely sister L, accompanying me at the semifinal, proved that she and Murphy are not friends when she missed one of the most epic shots of the year while in line for change of ends. There’s gotta be someone who’s the Blitz.

And here are some honorable mentions for retarded viewage situations, albeit not live:

Thai Tennis (Federer vs Nadal, Madrid Final): Cheering Rafa in an  Aussie pub full of football-watching Spaniards and Swiss tennis supporters in Thailand, accompanied by a jug of pink cocktail and a bunch of towelling wipes, in the sweltering heat of Koh Samui.

Screaming at the TV Makes you Look like a Freak (Soderling v Federer, French Open, round 4): Opting for Soderling in a “Lesser of Two Evils” match went against my grain, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team. In an Israeli pub, ensconced with a burger, laptop and 3 pints of Stella. Noone quite grasped the “Anyone But Fed” concept.

Irish Pubs Are Everywhere – Except when you’re searching for one (Nadal v Berdych, Wimbledon Final): Horrified by the Spanish inclination to ignore Wimbledon, despite their countryman killing it, in favor of the World Cup soccer, I embarked on a search throughout the city of Barcelona to find an Irish pub that would show the final. The Rule with Irish Pubs, of course, is that they are everywhere – except when you’re looking for one.

Sunday Night Tennis Party (Nadal v Verdasco, Monte Carlo Final): Rafa’s first shot at a title in eleven months, and L and I were equipped. Sunday evening Melbourne time, we had our livestream set up, plenty of snacks and drinks, and the yellow Optus what-a-shot signs. Great night, oh yeah.

Tennis on My TV Makes me Happy (Baghdatis v Gasquet, Sydney, semifinal) It was summer. I was at the gym. I was on the treadmill. There was tennis on the TV. It had subtitles, so I could read the commentary. Other people watched tennis with me. Need I say more?

Here’s to another year of epic tennis watching… and traveling. Happy New Year!


Tennis on my TV

December 30, 2010

Just a couple days left, kiddies, and that exciting moment of the year arrives.

I’m NOT talking about January, okay? I’ll wax lyrical about the beauty of that month another time.

I’m talking about that moment of the year when unsuspecting Aussies, devastated (though I’m sure, once upon a time, elated) by cricket scores, or bummed at the lack of quality How I Met Your Mother, switch on their Teevs after Neighbours and Today Tonight… to find… well…



For livestream squinters who have spent the year making besties with Foxtel users or squandering public wifi connections, it’s a golden time. Between Channel Seven and One HD and all the other glorious purveyors of A Summer of Tennis, the time has arrived.


With Hopman Cup and Brisbane on the cards for next week, tennis players tweeting about the crazy flight (yeah, try living with it, dude) and Australian News actually paying attention to our beloved sport for a change..

There’s no doubt about it. The time’s arrived, babies.

Countdown to Joy

December 27, 2010

Australian Open Countdown, Episode Six:

This basically tells you everything I’ve been telling you on the blog, only prettier:

Holiday Candy

December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays to all my Court Thirteen lovelies!

I haven’t forgotten about dishing out the pressies either, so here’s some tasty treats for you to chew over during the long weekend.

Fernando Verdasco, doing what he does best: Strutting. Papped at AAMI Classic Kooyong. (Photo credit: M)

Juan Martin Del Potro, biceps triceps deltoids, oh my

JMDP. That wrist doesn’t look too sore there now, does it? Biceps, triceps, delts, oh my!

Djokovic, Federer, Nadal

Our world, summarised. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Novak Djokovic

Feliciano Lopez



Where The Wild Things Are

December 24, 2010

The news is out, and it’s good.

Tennis Australia have handed out wildcards to the much-beloved Court 13 favourite, Jelena Dokic, and new USO lover Peter Luczak for the 2011 Australian Open. Both well-deserving after they made the finals of the wildcard playoffs, and also *whispers* great representatives of Australian Tennis.

Wild Thing, I Think I Love You

December 23, 2010

With all the chat going on about wildcards and those that are left (Yes, there are a lot of lovely Aussie boys at challenger-level seeking WCs, and yes, it’s a shame that some have to miss out. Personally I believe a few of them – ahem hem Bernieboy – are capable of doing it through qualies, but that’s enough from me.) and let’s move on to who is actually getting them.

Exciting news today that the French reciprocal is going to hilarious hottie Benoit Paire. Ranked 152nd, the kid’s got game, but that’s highly irrelevant when more importantly for the tennis world, he is brimming with personality and has the looks to match.

Benoit Paire at US Open 2010

Snuggle up, children, for some eye candy of the day and a bednight story from Rishe G. Those who followed my USO exploits may be familiar with this Frenchie for the heartache he put me through one cloudy Friday afternoon in Flushing Meadows, where he stole my heart – or more likely, ripped it away from the Spanish Adonis across the net, who was magically entrancing the gaggle of ladies on the left sideline (the ball was called good). I refer, of course, to round two, when he pushed Feli to five and had us in hysterics. Falling over theatrically and swearing in French at your coach is kinda funny, but kinda juvenile at a Grand Slam event. Motioning to the heavens, the earth and your audience and commentating on every move? It’s bloody gold. Mimicking our cheers of “Lopez, Lopez” complete with eyerolls and carrying on a French conversation as if we were in a Paris cafe had this boy on my list, even if I had to make sure he didn’t beat Feli in the process. Happiness abounds. Feli made it through, Benoit is our new Frenchie fave, and guess who’s coming to Melbourne?
Benoit Paire on-court antics
Benoit Paire, mid-service

Can You See Anything From the Back Row of the Australian Open?

December 22, 2010

Yesterday, this was one of my search engine terms:

And my heart just went out for the poor soul who typed that into a search engine and came across, of all expert webpages, my humble little site.

So let me honour this lovely visitor by divulging everything there is to know about attending AO, and let quell his/her fears in one word: YES.

Yes, you can see from the back row in the Australian Open. Yes, you can see from pretty much anywhere you get seats, even the nosebleeds. Excepting Hiisense (not a favourite of mine, with a few awkward spots blocked by railings and whatnot), you are basically guaranteed a great view wherever you sit.

Don’t believe me? Allow me to show you:
Australia Day at the Australian Open 2009

That, dear friends, is the view we had from the corner of Rod Laver Arena on Australia Day, 2009. It was retirement day; when first Vika Azarenka decided to get sick halfway through kicking Serena’s ass (even extracting some profanity, we love a code violation from Alison Lang); then La Monfils couldn’t make it past bestie Simon due to a bum wrist. The final match of the day was Nadal/Gonzales, and there’s nothing a like bit of “chi chi chi, le le le” to make the nosebleeds feel as good as the box. Honestly, we saw great, and I just want to tell this lovely visitor of mine that he/she is in for a fabulous time. In fact, we were next to a little camera in that back corner, and from then on any shot on TV reminded us that it was coming from “Our Camera!”

So do yourself a favour and get over there. Or have I not explained myself clearly enough?

“The House of Roger”

December 22, 2010

So the much-discussed exo happened, but first, it was time to pretend these two get all bromantic.

Love the half-assed hug. Honestly, much as I talk crap about Federer, I find this kind of sweet. It’s like seeing your workmate out of the office and trying to make a good impression with your fancy social life. I’m just worried about the real evil plan up his sleeve. Conspiracy theories, anyone?

“Is always pleasure for me, seeing cities around the world. And the house of Roger.”
He said it, kids, not me.


December 19, 2010

All the cool kids are doing it these days, so I figured we should move this blog into the land of The Facebook, where uploading pictures is as easy as a click and you can all share your wondrous brilliance right back at me.

So check out the Court Thirteen Facebook page, and while you’re there you can see the treat that is pictorial goodness.

Seventy-three tasty images, fresh from M’s camera and my iPhone, taken at the Australian Open 2010. They may be a little grainy, but the moments are pure priceless.

Let us know what you think.

Grand Slam Tennis Tours, Court 13 Style

December 19, 2010

My name is Rishe, and I’m a tennis addict.

Those of you who frequent the tennis universe might be familiar with our type. We haunt the interwebz at the craziest hours, searching for livestreams that quench our thirst for the sight of two genetically-gifted gods/esses hitting yellow fuzz across a net. We know the faceless few by name –officials, coaches and family members who flit across TV screens briefly. Our Twitter accounts, blogs readers and forums are our only lifeblood connecting us to others who harbour the same obsession.

Once a year, we get the opportunity to leave our vampire-like caves and watch our beloved sport in the open. When a tournament comes our way, we beg off work and roadtrip for miles to clap our eyes on tennis in the flesh.

For lucky Northern Hemisphereans, this might come more frequently. March hard court swings in the US are followed by a summer series; cities hosting May’s European clay are revisited with a year-ending indoor bash. Aussie-ans, however, have often been a deprived bunch. The bright blue of the Australian Open Series dazzles us through January, we grab a bit of local Fed or Davis Cup if we’re lucky, then starve our way through a live-tennis-less year until the summer returns with the December Showdown.

This year, I was lucky enough to attempt a Grand Slam in tennis viewing, and I’m proud to say, nearly succeeded. Starting with our exhilarating race for the best seats at Hit for Haiti, my sisters and I had Melbourne Park covered all January long. Instead of weeping when tennis farewelled my town (well, I did weep…) it was time to hightail it to Thailand and Israel, where the sports bartenders of the world rejoiced as they kept me in cocktails and screenings of the clay swing. Finally, it was time to move from TV land and onto the gorgeous squishy courts of Roland Garros.

From sweet-talking a security guard into Roland Garros in Paris to view Rafa’s first slam in over a year, Wimbledon proved more challenging when a World-Cup-obsessed Spain refused to show a single match on live TV during the Quarterfinals. Next was time for the US Open, where greeting guests and watching kids play Dance Dance Revolution at Smashzone was a small price to pay for watching epic matches from the Grandstand. Blogging was a little slow, but that’s cos seven am embarkments to two am arrivals don’t give much time for Internetting.

A near Grand Slam complete, and soon it’ll be time to return to my home. Or, to be more precise, that little spot on the Sandringham line where the summer really starts.

Welcome to Melbourne Park, ladies and gents.

The season ain’t over. It’s only just begun.

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